Tuesday, 12 August 2014

The space breaking point opens for God to move into the mundane.

Last week I hit breaking point. Twice. 

That point where your rational brain hits a wall, your emotions overflow and your body simply collapses. 

I don't like it when it happens. I like to be my own tower of strength. I like to hold the control and to feel like I have a handle on everything. 

And yet there I was completely falling under the pressure. 

How easy it is to mix falling and failing and to feel like a failure. 

Today I went back to my day in day out job. I went back to the making coffee, the serving: the same 6 questions. And the smiling. 

I went back and I found release in the repetition: in the mundane. 

But more than that I went back and found my eyes opened to Jesus at work. Because as depression takes yet another life I see each customer as who they are, I see the possibilities of the statistics they may fill and then beyond that into the ultimate truth of who their Creator says they are. 

And for me. For me I remembered how to pray again. I remembered the care that Jesus has for this very moment here: for the mundane. And I bend my heart towards Him and ask Him to step in as we have targets to reach, and food to sell. 

I didn't try to prove His existence, I didn't try to bring someone else to Him, I simply let Him in on the mundane repetitions of making coffee and selling food, and I can say for sure that He stepped in. Because though customers weren't in their thousands the paninis were flying off the shelf and by the power of the Holy Spirit I believe God moved in that place. 

Because yes there is a bigger picture, yes there is more to this story, but ultimately when God's child remembers again to turn to Him and simply asks for the paninis to sell, He really does have the choice to make that mountain move. 

God doesn't want us to get to breaking point but when we do He knows how to change it for good. How to use it to bring us back to Him and how to let it remind our hearts of who He names us. 

Friday, 4 July 2014

She rises: spiritual mums

I've known it for sometime. 

I've known that on Mother's Day i might not be in the season of life that gives me natural motherhood. But I've know that I am a spiritual mum. 

Not because of anything anyone has said or anything I've done but this feeling right down inside was screaming. Oh I place you as mum. 

And so I position myself to be this mum. 

And then Holly Wagner said it out loud. She spoke to the 50 year olds, the 30 something's, the 20s and the teenagers and the children. She said it out loud: you are all someone's spiritual mum. 

And then I decided I should stand in that place. Not just sit: but rise. 

And yesterday I did that. Yesterday I sat amongst these amazing young people. These girls-turning-women. And I got to whisper the words LOUD: you are loved. 

The world might label you as ugly, or fat, or not enough, you might be labelled with expectations, or all manner of things. But Jesus steps in - He always steps in - and He labels you as loved. 

He labels you as eternally loved. 

And what a privilege to be able to speak truth alongside those who spoke truth to me. What a privilege. 

May you know the truth that you have people in your life to learn from and you have people in your life who are learning from you. May you rise in that. And may you learn truth. And then may you speak truth. 

Monday, 23 June 2014

I explain the exploration

{In which I explain why this is more than just a painting, this is more than me tracing outlines and filling them in, this is about more than a grade on a piece of paper, this is an exploration which will not leave my heart....}

In a world where the young are written off - from the ones who fall {out of school, out of work, out of life} to the ones who choose to stand {who are passionate about God: who are ready to change the world}. 

We are written off as nobodies, busybodies, excitedbodies, with high energy and readiness for a life that will surely lead to the mundane. This isn't a fault of just the moment here but of generation after generation after generation. 

But I've seen this Spirit rising amongst us. I've seen a shift, a change: a movement. 

Messages of love and of hope and of light and of freedom are whispered across the deep. 

What more do you expect of us other than to give up here - give up now?
All I see is people asking us to resign ourselves to the usual pattern of society. 

But then I look and I read the words of God and I see a very different idea: dream

Despite all these voices calling me to emptiness I hear God's voice: constant and clear: "follow me". 

"I am the way."

and this way is BIG and different and radical and so adverse to the ways of this world: we are speaking of the unrecognisable. 

We are people who are following untouched paths - curating a different way: the way of old and of ancient - of Moses and of Elijah. 

What are we living for if not for God?

We were not made to find our comfortable and stay there. 

This is a battle that God has already won - we are not here to win the war: we are here to join in with where He is moving. 

We stand and embrace the mountains moving. 

We are an embodiment of this Vision.

{I hear but I do not listen to these voices around me who know not of these things! who hold others back...}

And so this is who I stand before you as. 

This is who we stand before you as. 

A fulfilment of this Vision. 

We are these people. 

We are the dangerous and the free and the radical. 

Oh we fall, we get it wrong and we want to turn back - but this is why we are in it together. 

We hold each other's arms up. 

We live life separately but stand together. 

We are passionate about giving the glory to the majestic King of all Kings. 

Your discouragement falls off of our backs. 

We will not hold back and we will not be held back. 

With fearful fearlessness we step into a Kingdom where Love reigns. Where a different song is sung. 

"all creation's standing now, lifting up His name"

Stand with us. Join us as we dance in the rain. 

Over the past year all my artwork has been building up to this two minute video - the project has been based upon and inspired by 24-7 Prayer's Vision, by Pete Greig. It has been amazing to explore what the words of that Vision say to me, and to have my eyes opened and be awakened to the reality that this Vision is coming to pass - I see a movement of people choosing a different way. Choosing God's way, and its hard and its tiring but its the best and there's nothing better. We wake the dawn with our song, we are forever rejoicing.

From the recent exhibition of my work - left is the video and written piece on display, right is my first final piece in the series, 'out of darkness'.